As of April 1, Sage Creek High School is officially adding traffic lights on campus in the building walkways and at the bottom of the staircases to help prevent students from being late to their classes. 

The traffic lights will change every 20 seconds to ensure that students traveling across campus and switching floors have a fair shot at getting to class within the five-minute passing period.

In light of the fact that some students have to go farther to their next class than others, Sage Creek will mandate that teachers permit a grace period for the first two minutes of class in the event that a student got held up and hit a streak of red lights or slow movers regardless of the traffic control.

Similar to real traffic on the roads, if a student runs a red light, a camera will take a photo of them and a ticket will be added to their ID. Every Friday the amount of tickets a student has received will translate to five minutes they will spend helping clean up the campus after lunch before going to their fourth-period class.

Junior Asher Frankel endorses the new addition to Sage Creek’s campus. “People always block the walkways, and it makes me so mad and I just want to speed around them so I’m very excited about the new traffic system,” he said.

This announcement was made during a special morning announcement on the last day before spring break. The rule will go into effect following students’ and staff’s return to school after their week off.

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This is satire for April Fools