Lexi Thurman

Ms. Quiñones has been teaching music at Sage Creek since 2016. It is a miracle that she has not yet been infected.

Memes have been infiltrating the internet for years, but it seems now they have taken over the Sage Creek Music Department as well. 

Reports from trusted sources at Sage Creek have stated that when venturing down to the 5000 building, it was as if the students were speaking in a foreign language. 

In attempts to understand what is going on inside the music room other than the ruckus that can be heard from across the school, The Sage went in search of interviewees who could help other students learn more about this phenomenon. 

Julian Machulsky-Benrubi, a former instrumental music student who, between phrases, would suck in his cheeks and portray a menacing look until his next line, began unpromptedly explaining his experience with “mewing.” 

“Mewing has become an integral part of my life,” he said. “I recently had a 27-day mewing streak going until it tragically came to an end when I woke up one day and forgot to mew when I looked in the mirror.”

Our reporters sought out music teacher Ms. Quiñones to get clarification on what “mewing” could possibly mean.

“I don’t understand what any of them are ever talking about, so I couldn’t tell you; I teach my students how to make music, not how to be socially normal human beings,” Quiñones said. 

When asked for an interview on the same matter, Aaron Pascal, violinist and trumpet player for the Sage Creek band and orchestra, spoke very simply, saying only the word “mog” repeatedly for the entire duration of the discussion.

Pascal finally broke the “mog cycle” after two long minutes. Out of breath, Pascal said, “That was my longest mog yet; that was crazy.” 

Nearby stood Galen Kelly-Pierson, a trombone player for Sage Creek’s wind ensemble, who, at the mere sound of hearing the word “crazy” being uttered in his vicinity, became wide-eyed and shouted, “Crazy?”

Seemingly stuck in a trance, Kelly-Pierson said, continuously, “Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. The rats made me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once…” for several minutes straight.

While he was lost in recitation, The Sage’s reporters managed to sneak back up the stairs to the safety of the academic mall. 

We advise that you maintain a minimum of 6 feet of separation from room 5003 and any of its usual inhabitants to prevent spreading this “meme virus” any further. Stay safe, Bobcats.

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This is a satire for April Fools’ Day