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Two western lowland gorillas occupy their habitats. A western lowland gorilla’s natural habitat can be found in Central Africa.

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Girl Scout Cookies Have Been Discovered to Have Magic Pixie Dust

Mai Harb, Staff Reporter ◊ 33 Views

Pixies and fairies release pixie dust onto Girl Scout cookies. They’re making the cookies shine, unbeknownst to humans.

Everyone wonders why the iconic Girl Scouts cookies taste so delicious, so scrumptious, so exquisite. What kind of magic do those girls add to those sweets?

Well, now, scientists have discovered it. We have the answer, and it’s magic pixie dust.

Millions of dollars have been spent to fund the research of this project. It’s taken years to figure out why those cookies are so addictive. Scientists like Roger Penrose, the man known for quantum theory and black holes, and the astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson were the main people working on the project. Other brains on this puzzling project include NASA engineers.

With the information released March 30, the news broke in multiple outlets when the dust was found. Some people were worried, wondering if all the cookie boxes they ate that contained pixie dust would affect the health of them and their children.

Girl Scout cookie buyer Billie Eilish said, “I didn’t notice when rainbow glitter came out onto the cookies. I thought it was just very, very small sprinkles. It tasted good, though.”

Plastic surgeries, however, have gone up, as so many people want the new fairy wings they got from eating the cookies removed. Fortunately, it was only a handful of children (and adults) that consumed enough cookies to grow the wings, and all the surgeries have gone well.

This is a satire article written for April Fools’ Day.

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