At the March 21, 2026 school board meeting, a new motion was passed unanimously, now requiring that Carlsbad school district administrators replace all disciplinary action with mandatory public apology videos that will air on the Sage.
According to Dr. Way, one of the apology videos’ biggest advocates, the new system is designed to promote “accountability, reflection and digital-era growth.”
Instead of in-school detention, referrals and suspension, students will now be monitored filming their “rebranding initiatives” on campus to be sent to the producers of The Sage broadcast. These videos will be reviewed before posting and must include at least one emotionally devastating pause, one statement that sounds like a movie trailer voiceover, multiple parts that have viewers waiting for the next drop and the caption, “I messed up.”
Under the new policy, detention has been rebranded as a “content creation opportunity.”
Senior at Sage Creek, Ranya Jafry, spoke on the initiative, stating, “I have been openly cheating on tests for some time now, the videos are great for my TikTok engagement.”
Other students are feeling similar, with school offences rising 35% in just recent weeks, leading to dozens of apology videos a day from freshman to senior.
Sage Creek freshman Cooper Jordan reported that before entering Sage’s campus, he saw himself as quite the upstanding citizen, but the videos just do so well on what students are calling, “bad apple-Tok.”
“I’d like to say I’m a good student, but what good does learning do when in the end, apology videos alone can get me a Bugatti?” Jordan reported.
Principal Way responded that though there is a sharp increase in school related offenses due to the implementation of the new policy, it might just happen to be what is necessary to put Sage Creek on the map.
“Is it great that students are outwardly throwing chromebooks down the stairs? No. But I have to say, apology videos addressing chrome-abuse do create a lot of traction when search engines are involved,” Way said.
So for the meantime, emotional apology videos are here to stay in regards to school “crimes,” and let’s just say a new dawn of “influencers” are upon us.
This article was written as satire for April Fools’ Day.
