On March 29, the satirical news media organization known as The Onion filed for chapter seven bankruptcy. Ben Collins, the company CEO, says that they simply have run out of ideas.

“We used to try and extrapolate the truth of whatever the current administration was doing to make a point,” Collins said. “But now, we’re struggling with the exaggeration. You can’t exaggerate what’s going on in the current political climate.”

Vidalia Walla, a writer at The Onion, expressed her shock at the news.

“I had no clue this was going to happen,” Walla said. “I mean, the only thing that really changed was that my job changed from satirist to political forecaster.”

A critic who wished to stay anonymous said that this decision was “hasty” and that “they should have waited for the midterm elections.”

Here at The Sage, many have found this news incredibly upsetting. Some students, like staff reporter Jake Householder, have looked at satire as a creative outlet that is now destroyed.

“It’s easy,” Householder said. “I like how I have complete control over what goes into my writing.”

Householder has expressed concern over the recent news and is struggling to see a future in writing satire.

Austin Jew, a four-year alumnus of The Sage, believes that The Onion held a monopoly over the news sector before it filed for bankruptcy.

“I believe that the conspiracy behind The Onion needs to be discovered,” Jew said. “Their tyranny over the news media needs to be checked.”

Regardless of The Onion’s inner workings, they undoubtedly held a large hold over the satire news outlet.

The Babylon Bee, arguably The Onion’s biggest competitor, made a press statement after the news broke out.

“While it is sad to see a giant of the satire business go,” the statement said. “The Onion probably could’ve figured something out if they weren’t too busy changing their gender.”

The future of satire is currently up in the air as “America’s finest news source” has grown spoiled.

This is a satire article written for April Fools’ Day.