SCHS UNO Gambling Exposed in English Department Pods


Georgia Scherrer

The English department pod is where betting and gambling took place using UNO cards. The room is now empty where the entirety of the department once sat and played.

Sage Creek High School English teachers have been accused of running a gambling ring within their shared pods during 1st period. In order to ensure that no students would suspect their scheme, UNO cards were utilized instead of traditional poker cards. 

The perpetrators of this felony were the entirety of the English department, however, the kingpins were none other than the infamous Ms. Kalberg and Ms. Alberts. Students had been suspicious of Alberts and Kalberg ever since a student reported finding stacks of cash inside “Crime and Punishment” books. 

The enterprise had been running for more than a year according to Kalberg, but when an individual student interrupted a round of UNO  to record a podcast for The Sage, five teachers were caught in the act.
Alberts noted that the teachers offered for the student to join their current round of UNO, but the student lost and elected to report the ruse out of anger. 

The teachers are looking to face life in Monopoly jail and are being sued by the Mattel company for $1,000,000 for their crimes against humanity and the UNO creators. 

This is satire for April Fool’s Day.