Dear Maddie: How Do You Stay Connected With a Friend When Your Schedules Never Line Up?

Dear Maddie,

        I have been trying to maintain a friendship with my closest friend and have been asking her to hang out, but our schedules never coincide. One weekend I finally had a day off and asked her to hang out, but she was, again, busy when I thought we would have a chance to finally hang out. I understand that we both have commitments to different things, and I’m not willing to give my obligations up, so I am not expecting her to give her’s up. I also feel like I am always the one doing the asking, and whenever I put myself out there, I am just shut down. I feel like I am losing a connection with her and am afraid to lose another friendship for good.

How do you stay connected with a friend when your schedules don’t ever line up?

From,

A Flustered Friend

Response:

Dear Flustered Friend,

Sometimes friendships are difficult to keep. With you and your friend both having very busy high school agendas that keep you both apart, I can understand how losing that friendship could very well trouble you. However, in my experience, it is equally important and valuable in a friendship to feel equally wanted and appreciated as they feel within the relationship. If you are feeling as if you are being rejected by your close friend, and have already communicated your feelings with him/her, then in all honesty I would say that the smart move would be to start focusing on yourself rather than focusing on the relationship. I would say to stay in touch with them. Ensure that during all of the time that both of you do have together—you make every moment count.

A very important factor in every friendship/relationship is to communicate effectively; attempt to diminish small talk and have meaningful conversations that you both can bond over. In the end, Flustered Friend, I would focus on having meaningful conversations with this person, and also focus trying to connect again like you may have before. If your friend cares and values your relationship, then they should most likely have a positive response to this. I wish you the best of luck with all of your relationship endeavours my Flustered Friend, and I hope that some of my advice can become useful for you.

From,

Madison Young