On March 31, 2025, the United States Space Force (USSF) faced a public crisis as their progress on building a secret space station behind the Moon was discovered. Col. Bernard Bulligan revealed the plan when sending an email to “UncleSam76” containing images and documents of the plan. The email address did not belong to any official government account, but instead an 11-year-old boy who promptly shared the plans online.

“How was I supposed to know it wasn’t him? It said ‘Uncle Sam,’ I mean, doesn’t Uncle Sam own the military? This boy needs to be tried for identity fraud and treason immediately,” said Bulligan. 

From what’s been shared, we know the space station, nicknamed “Death Star” on social media, is a sphere 10 miles in diameter. Its cost is predicted to exceed tens of trillions of dollars, and its current capabilities and purpose have yet to be revealed. Online, soldiers in the USSF and people working on the space station are being called “Stormtroopers” in reference to the characters from “Star Wars”. 

“We’re building the station to defend against asteroids, the rising interstellar threat of possible aliens. We would never target anywhere on Earth,” said General B. Chance Saltzman, Chief of Space Force operations. 

Chinese President Xi Jinping said, “This is a threatening step of American aggression towards the world.” Plans to build a larger space station between China and Russia have begun, starting what many are calling the “21st Century Space Race.”

Critics say Saltzman is using asteroids and aliens as a cover-up to destroy U. S. enemies without nuclear weapons. Theorists are using the situation as further proof of aliens, and facilities such as Area 51 are going under increased scrutiny. The situation is rapidly developing, and only time will tell what happens to the future of the “Death Star” station.

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This article is satire for April Fools Day