This week, Sage Creek announced they planned to replace the stairs with escalators. They said it was “to improve productivity,” as people would no longer be late or tired for class.
When asked about his thoughts on the change, Nash Nelson told us, “I am always late to class because I need to get up the stairs, so this will help.”
Others have also said this will improve the traffic on the stairs, as everyone will be moving at the same speed.
“I am always stuck behind slow people on the stairs, so this will be nice,” said Elliott Haney, a fast walker.
Overall, this change will improve productivity and allow students to get around quickly and more efficiently.
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This article is satire for April Fools Day
