On March 27, 2025, an audit was conducted on Sage Creek High School, but when the auditors checked their audit, a shocking number of wise sages were found: 0.

Being what the school was named after, this obviously sent a wave of panic through the students.

“I just can not believe it!” freshman Idon Texas T. said. “The wise sages were the whole reason I came here. Without any sages, I might transfer.”

Freshmen weren’t the only students who were affected by this; the lack of sages was shocking to seniors as well.

“This news was the biggest surprise I’ve ever received,” Senior Tiago Goons said. “I was under the impression that this entire school was run completely by wise sages, that they were pulling the strings behind everything. I guess it really was just faculty and the school board.”

Some students are worried about what this news could mean for their safety at school.

“From what I was told during orientation, this school was built on the advice of wise sages,” Texas T. said. “Now that this whole thing has come out as a sham, I’m not sure I can trust the structural integrity of any buildings on campus.”

Additionally, these fake sages could get some alumni and students applying for jobs in legal trouble.

“I got my letter of recommendation from a wise sage, or at least I thought I did,” Goons said. “Wait… is getting a fake letter of recommendation considered fraud?”

[Goons declined any follow-up comments]

These blatant false statements and promises from Sage Creek High School may lead to lawsuits and fines. In any scenario, the logical next step is to rename the school to “Creek High School.”

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This article is satire for April Fools Day