“This year will mark the year when our namesake rises above our campus, literally. To commemorate this joyous occasion, we will be dubbing our creek ‘Sage River’ on April 1st,” announced Giselle Grammy, the official Award Receiver for the Carlsbad Unified School District. 

Sage Creek High School will not only be receiving a plaque celebrating their new achievement, but a name change for the first time in 10 years.

“There has been pushback against the change, but I think making our school Sage River High School really shows how we’ve grown in these last few years,” explained Grammy. “If we were to leave the name as-is, I believe the students would feel like we don’t truly believe in them.” 

Student opinions vary, but many are in favor of the adjustment to our school. Sophomore John Smith shared his thoughts on the name:

“I’ve been at Sage Creek for two years, so I think it’s only fitting that I spend the next two years at Sage River. I feel like it really portrays the growth I’ve gone through along with my peers.”

Though Grammy’s opinion aligns with Smith’s, the award receiver disagrees with the idea that it represents the students’ efforts. 

“I honestly believe that it was all the faculty’s effort that brought us this good luck. The students work hard, but they don’t work for this school, they work for the devil himself. Once, a group of students decided that dying the creek green would be a funny senior prank. It took days to clean up, especially because we didn’t get nearly as much rainfall that year.” 

An involved freshman feels differently about the change. Jane Doe, an honors student and member of the robotics club, feels the new name could lower the school’s overall reputation.

“It’s already annoying to be called the Sage Geeks, we don’t need to have the ‘River Rafters’ added to our list of nicknames,” Doe worries. “When I go to robotics comps, I don’t want to be distracted by something I had no say in.”

Even though the student body is polarized over the new school title, the district has already decided to change the name to Sage River High School. To smooth over the transition and widespread public opposition, the district will hold a PTSA meeting explaining the specifics within the next month. 

Soon-to-be Sage River High School has much to look forward to this April. 

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This is satire for April Fool’s Day.