All sports at Sage Creek are being shut down to ensure students are focusing on school.

A recent study that was conducted shows a decrease in student-athlete grades. All students are receiving Ds and lower, and their GPA averages are dropping to under 1.0. Last year, Bobcats received all As and ended with a 4.0 or higher. This unprecedented drop in grades shifted Sage Creek from #5 in high schools in San Diego to dead last.

Students are playing too much chess on chess.com in class, which somehow increased their interest in sports. However, not being able to play sports has decreased their motivation to try hard in school. It’s a loop that students can’t escape. 

“At this point, why should we even try in school if we can’t play sports?”  freshman and student-athlete Kalia Caetano said. 

However, the probation of sports not only affects the motivation and well-being of the student-athletes of Sage Creek, but it has also taken a toll on the coaches of the teams that have been discontinued. 

“I am very bummed that the sports got shut down. We were supposed to have an amazing season until all the students decided not to study. Now I have to be an English teacher, ” the new football coach and now English teacher Mr. Raven said. 

Now knowing students can’t play sports at Sage Creek, the student average has gone down even more, and they feel that if they can’t play sports, there is no need to go to school. This is causing them to play more and more chess. There is also no point for coaches to be teaching students how to solve formulas and write essays when Sage Creek is known as the athletic and sporty school, not the nerdy one. 

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This is satire for April Fool’s Day.