This is a public service announcement: do not stop in the walkways for any reason whatsoever.

Believe it or not, I’m just like the rest of you. My opinions are left for the masses to peruse and vehemently explain why I’m wrong and how I should take a nosedive into the nearest slab of cement. However, I’m just a human being like you all, with hopes and dreams…and a lot of gripes. One of which includes the epidemic that is students blocking every walkway in the concrete jungle that is Sage Creek High School.

I’m currently in my fourth year of high school, a senior if you prefer. We’ve been told ad nauseum about how we are the ones to sculpt this school into whatever we want it to be. As a famous man once said and thousands of shirts have plagiarized, “be the change you want to see in the world.” I have been trying to be that change, but I am one man, a very scrawny, anxious, quiet man. I am not going to split the seas of flesh blocking the stairs like Moses trying to head to his third period. But what I do have, is an idea: treat the walkways like the road.

This simple idea has been going on since the dawn of time, yet people still seem to forget a law of the road: there’s a speed limit. I’m not saying slow your roll, quite the opposite actually. For the love of Odin, just try walking. Not this leisurely hike you call a walk, I mean actually walking. If we are on a road, I’m going slightly above the speed limit but some people are driving like a 52-year-old blind dog browsing the news on their phone while drinking a smoothie.

Walking to class is like speeding down the freeway during rush hour: you can’t. It is nearly impossible to climb three stories when you students are taking a leisurely stroll to their next class. Normally, when one walks at a snail’s pace, it is to appreciate the scenery. Our school is home to beautiful nature, especially the trails where you can occasionally see hikers. However, you people are not appreciating anything. You’re staring blankly at your phones and lumbering to class like Frankenstein’s monster trying to balance three books on his head.

I’m not requesting we all sprint to class (nice as that might be). All I ask is that you just look up? Just once? There are other people around you and they are internally screaming at you for your total lack of awareness to the world around you. You know those 1000-year-old dragon ladies and gentlemen babbling about those “millennials and their fancy devices” that we just can’t keep our eyes off of? Congratulations! You’re proving them right. Thank you for once again becoming a part of the problem.

But these people do not even compare to the monsters that roam our school. There is no excuse for stopping in the middle of walking students; it is an actual hazard to yourself and those around you. You have no proper rhyme or reason to be screeching to a dead halt while others have to use their full five minute passing period to run across the school. If your leg somehow explodes, you better hop your way out of the walkway and take care of it because some of us just cannot wait for you to take care of what you need to deal with. It’s absurd that some people just lack all awareness of the people or space surrounding them. You’re at a school of people just like you. Do you get upset when people stop in front of you? Guess what: People are thinking the exact same thing about you. Clean it up.