Innovations in artificial intelligence (AI) creation have been more and more common and impressive in recent years, from Siri to self-driving automobiles. The inventions seem to only be improving quality and speed of life in the modern first-world lifestyle. Google has even taken on the task and mission of bring AI innovation to the entire world, “solving problems for everyone.”
However, AI still has quite a distance to progress in manners of helping people. Machines can operate in surgeries but they cannot advise the families of patients on how to cope with the struggles of medical emergencies and traumas. Robots can drive cars but they can’t race them with the thrill that only racecar drivers can feel. Computers can influence an audience’s political stance but cannot mediate differences between opposing sides for a common solution. There are so many instances of life in which robots have invaded but not been able to see the full potential of the situation.
There is only one logical solution. We must replace every human being with a robot. We must replace every human being with a robot.
Robots will not fight wars or go hungry or pollute the earth. Robots will not need homes built where natural habitats formerly thrived. Robots will not endorse companies employing slave labor for clothes and chocolate. Simply because they do not need or are inclined to need any of those things, as humans are.
One of the biggest concerns and priorities of modern civilization is global warming, which is largely caused by massive farming projects to provide meat and dairy products as well as fuel emissions of transportation methods. Food and mobility are intrinsically organic needs which robots could obviously do without. If we succeed in replacing every human being with a robot then the risk of accelerating climate change towards destruction of the earth is massively decreased.
As you may see now, robotization is the most efficient and rational solution to all modern day problems. A lack of emotion and selfish desire could be the answer to all of humanity’s problems!
There is only one obstacle to this method of salvation, though. To replace everyone with a robot, there would need to be a mass-disposal effort of humans in order to make space. Though the method may be costly, it would be definitive in smoothing out this small blip in the plan: expulsion.
There are two routes to this expulsion project: one in which each human is shot individually into orbit or alternatively building a massive ship to combine the expulsion into a large body of humans sent into space. The fragile mortality of these beings is a tragic but unamendable aspect. This is the only way to world peace and a healthier planet.
Google has already agreed to this proposal in recent months as submitted by our team. Measures to introduce the first waves of expulsion will be proposed and initiated in early 2019. If you and your family are not the first to be expelled with this new project, you may see the first initiated robotic replacements within months. The fresh enterprise will soon be the pride of every country’s human government until the leading humans are shot into orbit themselves. Bon voyage!
Tom ◊ Nov 18, 2019 at 1:35 pm
Also, Max, Democrats never said anything about human extinction. The farthest they’ve ever gone is pushing for legalising abortions. This is beyond that. This is absolute misanthropy. This reminds me of Bender from Futurama (if you know who he is).
Tom ◊ Nov 18, 2019 at 11:26 am
But if it’s any consolation, there is a (fairly unlikely) chance we may go extinct before 2100, due to nuclear war, climate change, or artificial intelligence. But that’s pretty unlikely, because it assumes that the worst-case scenario of each threat’s worst-case scenarios comes to pass.
Tom ◊ Nov 18, 2019 at 11:23 am
For most of human history, humanity managed to cruise along just fine without wrecking the environment. Every organism impacts its environment in some way, through the organisms it consumes to the offspring it creates by mating. That said, it wasn’t until the Industrial Revolution that this “Anthropocene” we live in really got off the ground.
Tom ◊ Nov 18, 2019 at 11:18 am
Also, we can consume less. And maybe return to being hunter-gatherers, pastoralists, and subsistence farmers.
Tom ◊ Nov 18, 2019 at 11:15 am
Aine, humanity doesn’t deserve extinction any more than the polar bear does or the Wooly Mammoth did. Sure, we can be downright horrible, stupid, and destructive at times, but we can also be incredibly intelligent, kind, and compassionate. No species deserves to go extinct. extinction just happens. Humans will go extinct one day, but not because we consciously decided “Oh dear, we’re ruining the Earth. Let’s wipe ourselves out and replace ourselves with billions of robots.” We just have that inherent sense of self-preservation that is found in all species. but if you want to do your part to cause human extinction, don’t have kids. Also, imagine what would happen if we suddenly went extinct. Imagine the magnitude. Not only will billions of existing humans be murdered, but so will countless members of their descendents. Humanity, like all species, has a right to continue to exist until its inevitable extinction. That said, there is definitely an argument for reducing the population through peaceful, humane ways like widespread access to contraceptives and abortions.
Tom ◊ Nov 18, 2019 at 11:01 am
Humans at least are capable of caring about the Earth. Robots can’t, unless they’re programmed to. As for war… what if the Earth begins to run out of resources for the robots? Maybe they would destroy each other to get at those rare resources.
Tom ◊ Nov 18, 2019 at 10:58 am
Also, what if the robots were self-replicating? Then they would consume all of Earth’s resources to make more copies of themselves, and if they aren’t programmed to respect Earth’s biosphere, Earth’s ecosystems could be completely devoured by the hordes of robots.
Tom ◊ Nov 18, 2019 at 10:55 am
Here’s a better idea: stop consuming so much and develop a sustainable society, rather than the inherently-doomed, politically-stagnant madhouse we live in right now.
pedro ◊ Jun 24, 2018 at 10:04 am
thanks
Max Quirin ◊ Jun 12, 2018 at 12:57 pm
I swear, california is the only state where you hear for a calling of a genocide of the entire human race. I will never understand democrats smh
Andrew Coviello ◊ Jun 12, 2018 at 11:32 am
I think that Aine should get her own news site called The Aineon.
Pasha ◊ Jun 12, 2018 at 9:10 am
Isn’t the picture the robots from I, Robot?
gilgamesh ◊ Jun 12, 2018 at 9:08 am
april fools
. ◊ Jun 12, 2018 at 7:58 am
It’s Climate Change there is no such thing as “Global Warming”
Sydney Ballard ◊ Jun 12, 2018 at 7:35 am
Wow! What a great piece. This is going to be such an impactful solution to our global issues here on Earth, and not to mention, Patrick Donahue is such a great lead for Google AI. Impressive stuff.